#30

The number 30 has never been a big deal to me. It is after all just a number. I do have to say that on December 18 the number 30 became very significant. The number 30now represents how far along in this pregnancy we are. 30 WEEKS! We have made it to 30 weeks. I have waited a long time to get to the final 10 week countdown, but it has arrived! For most of this pregnancy we have just kept to ourselves for the most part. I didn't want to jinx anything. I have been afraid to let myself relax, and enjoy this pregnancy because I have been waiting for something to go wrong. Now that we are at 30 weeks I am finding myself being able to breathe a little, but at the same time a whole new wave of anxiety is building. Will our little boy be okay? Will his heart truly be okay? Will he have Downs Syndrome? I have been trying to keep all the possibilities in the front of my mind because I do not want to feel blindsided if he is born needing extra medical attention. I am not as concerned about if he has Downs Syndrome as I am what if something is wrong with his heart. I know we are getting closer to finding out the answer to our questions and while there is some comfort it is very scary also. So I will celebrate making it to the final 10 weeks, but will definitely continue to pray that our boy's heart has been healed and the strength to face whatever comes next.